Over time, Google, the world’s most recognizable search engine, has showcased inventors, innovators, and cultural celebrations with its frequent doodles on its homepage. However, the public has grown increasingly more irritated with its exclusion of mozzarella sticks–the popular bar appetizer that is all of the aforementioned (and then some).
In a poll recently conducted about who to feature next as a Google doodle, the results were resoundingly in favor of mozzarella sticks. Some of the participants’ comments included:
“It’s a bit short-sighted, and I don’t know, possibly ignorant and prejudiced? We’re talking about mozzarella sticks here. Sure, they aren’t french fries, or even onion rings, but that’s the point. They’ve transcended the challenges faced by side dishes and appetizers to carve their own place in history. They deserve a doodle.” Jon S.
“My father died while eating mozzarella sticks. The sacrifices we’ve made in order for mozzarella sticks to be a part of the conversation are immeasurable and Google is pretty much telling us to go beat off our own dicks and set ourselves on fire.” Andrew G.
“If you don’t like mozzarella sticks you are a Nazi. That’s it. End of conversation.” – Lillian H.
“If Google doesn’t feature mozzarella sticks as one of their doodles soon I am going to personally go to the Google offices and take a dump in their lobby and then I’m going to pick up the dump and heave it at the front door so that it splats and dribbles down the window and then when all the workers come in that day they will smell my runny dump on the window and barf all over their hoodies!!” Anonymous
No word yet from spokespeople from Google on whether or not there are plans to celebrate mozzarella sticks, but as the public grows more impatient, mozzarella sticks remain a part of our social conscious.
