America’s Ready for a Female Cap’n Crunch

female captain crunch

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, then you’re aware of the cultural shift currently taking hold in America. The voices of countless women are finally being heard and no longer do we view the strong females of our nation as second-class citizens. And while there are many battles being waged and won, there remains a lot of work to still be done. Namely, at breakfast.

Cereal mascots have long been seen as pillars of toxic masculinity and their roles have been tailored exclusively for men. Sonny the Cuckoo Bird is routinely forgiven for acting inappropriately in his quest to obtain Cocoa Puffs; Toucan Sam insists we follow his instincts, and HIS alone, to discover the location of Froot Loops; and how can we turn a blind eye to Tony the Tiger, whose machisimo and declarative statements on what’s great and what isn’t is a firm nod to the patriarchy. And these are just the animals. There’s countless male representation in the cereal aisle including Count Chocula, the Rice Krispies elves, and whatever the Cookie Crisp mascot is nowadays.

 

It’s time for General Mills to step up. Give the women of the world the cereal mascot they deserve, but not by inventing a new one, rather, by repurposing an older mascot in an attempt to capitalize on its male audience.

 

And then of course, there is Cap’n Crunch. It’s time for General Mills to step up. Give the women of the world the cereal mascot they deserve, but not by inventing a new one, rather, by repurposing an older mascot in an attempt to capitalize on an audience already in place. It’s a true sign of the times that’s evident across all pop culture. America’s ready to move on. America’s ready for female representation on cereal boxes. (But America’s not ready to be introduced to a brand new character they are unfamiliar with. Frankly, it’s a bit ridiculous to suggest that we entertain the idea of new ideas and a unique approach when we can lazily settle for an idea that’s been around for decades and rebrand it to pander to the consuming public.)

America’s ready for a female Cap’n Crunch! 

The position of cereal military leadership, combined with the representation of a widely popular breakfast cereal is sure to send the proper message to the women of tomorrow, who unknowingly dip their spoons into cereals that are controlled by the patriarchy. Women have fought long and hard to be represented in our bowls in the morning and there’s no better time than now. 

Take the battle to social media, to the streets, to the cereal aisle — wherever the echoes of Crunch demand to be heard! It’s time for General Mills to heed the call!

Art by Christopher J. Sorrentino

What are your thoughts on a female Cap’n Crunch? Comment below!

 

About NOSHKONG

A food blog. Kinda.

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