Do you sit alone on your lunch break at work? Do you sit at a table in the breakroom, staring at someone else’s food and think, my food is boring today? Do all your coworkers think you’re a loser and call you “Tommy Tomatoes” because you bring in the same dumb pasta with sauce for lunch every day you fuckin loser? Wouldn’t you love to know that there’s a simple answer to sprucing up lunchtime at work?
There is. And all you have to do is become a gun owner.
Very few of us have the time to put together a nutritious and fulfilling lunch every day of the workweek. Between juggling day-to-day responsibilities and thinking about if we married the right person, our time is precious. We’re too busy, for God’s sakes! Simple solutions like frozen meals provide relief, but eventually, the thought of eating these again is enough to make you want to set yourself on fire and run into your bosses office. The answer to all this turmoil: buy a handgun and fire it at your lunch!
Lunch at work will certainly take on a whole new meaning when you blast away at it in the breakroom.
As an adult, you deserve the protection that handgun ownership provides, but what many seem to overlook, is that a handgun will also jumpstart your life in other areas. Lunch at work, for example, will certainly take on a whole new meaning when you blast away at it in the breakroom. And if you happen to be among the many who eat lunch at your desk? Your lunch will never taste better than when you pull the trigger and watch your coworkers slowly back away in unbridled fear.
Stop torturing yourself at lunchtime. But most of all, put an end to the Snooze Fest your coworkers are always quick to point out every day at noon. Get yourself a gun and fire it at your lunch and remember to finish eating before the cops show up.