We Found a Tomato Shaped Like Saddam Hussein and It’s Really F*cking Us Up

saddam hussein tomato

Going to the farmer’s market is often a pleasant experience. There’s home-grown veggies, organic meats from butchers, and often a guy with a banjo playing cover songs no one asked for. It’s rare that anything deviates from this experience, however, we were recently upended from our normal farmer’s market routine.

While browsing the crates of produce at the Sunder Bros. Farm stall, we happened upon a tomato that looked just like Saddam Hussein, the former Iraqi dictator president. At first, we couldn’t believe our eyes. The mustache, the eyebrows, the stone-faced expression were all represented on this tomato. It was good for a laugh and, of course, we bought the tomato, then posted a picture of it on our social accounts. And this is when things took an odd turn.

 

The mustache, the eyebrows, the stone-faced expression were all represented on this tomato that looked like Saddam Hussein. It was good for a laugh. We posted a picture of it on our social accounts. And this is when things took an odd turn…

 

The pic managed to get the attention of most of our friends, tallying up Likes and Shares and Retweets, and eventually, it began to go semi-viral. It was scooped up by all the major content aggregators. We began fielding all sorts of friend requests and DM’s. Some were reasonable, some were…terrifying? One account messaged us a picture of a zucchini he found that looked like Benito Mussolini. It was odd, to say the least.

Before we knew it, we were minor Internet celebrities. Morning shows requested interviews on Skype. Jimmy Kimmel featured our picture on his late-night show. The Iraqi government requested we smash the tomato. Halsey wrote a song about it. NetFlix offered to do a documentary about it (which we turned down).

After a few days, the tomato began to spoil. Too much exposure will turn anything rotten. The tomato had been propped up one too many times and the meaning of a good, fresh tomato became lost on people. We bought this tomato thinking it’d be cute, then realized our greed for attention clouded our judgment. We never got to eat the damn thing. Instead of enjoying the fruit for its lush juices and sweet flesh, we whored it to the public.  And now…we will never be the same…

 

How does the Saddam Hussein shaped tomato make you feel? Sound off in the comments below!

 

About NOSHKONG

A food blog. Kinda.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s