As children, we’d spend our days licking and gorging on the vivid flavor spectrum that can only be provided by our fingers. So much has been made about which finger on our hand is the most flavorful, but there never has there been determined a clear favorite…until now.
I recently conducted a blind taste test of each of my fingers to finally put to rest any questions or controversy. Here’s how it played out:
At first, I coulda sworn my thumb was my middle finger. It rang with floral notes of eyeball as that is the finger I use to scratch away at the corners of my eyes in the morning. Alas, I was dead wrong. My thumb was succulent and well-textured, but ultimately, unsatisfying.
This finger was a true nightmare of a flavor profile. Bitter, perhaps from holding on to the bus pole, and pungent, perhaps from poking and prodding my iPhone, which does my index finger no favors in the taste department. It’d be nice to revisit my youth when my index finger was used for Fun Dip and giving Wet Willies.
My middle finger surprised me not just in terms of texture, but with its bold notes of acidic saltiness.
A clear frontrunner. My middle finger surprised me not just in terms of texture, but with its bold notes of acidic saltiness. It really is the perfect finger to let linger on your tongue on a lazy afternoon at the park, in the office, while talking to your therapist, or any time of the week!
The ring finger is the odd outcast of all fingers. There wasn’t much going on here and for a hot second, I thought this wasn’t a finger at all, but a Vienna sausage that had been laying out in the sun for too long.
Perhaps the only real contender to my middle finger, my pinky finger bloomed with waves of sweetness swathed in citrus. It is the finger often dipped into food for a sneak preview of taste, and generally removed from the chaotic revelries or chores of other fingers. The pinky is quite delicious!
THE WINNER: While the middle finger was the early favorite, the pinky really pulled through in the end. As a finger, it was satisfying, well-portioned, and not too pretentious despite its reputation for being attached to elitism. Congrats pinky!
Which finger is your favorite? Let us know!