Twitter Will Permanently Shut Down Due to a Picture of Sushi Dipped in Applesauce Dubbed “Oregon Style”

sushi dipped in applesauce

The pic went viral faster than any picture of Kim Kardashian. It fired up more debates than “The Dress”. On local news outlets everywhere, it was the lead story. And now–it has inspired executives at Twitter to permanently shut down the social media giant.

We contacted one exec at Twitter, who wished to remain anonymous. “Look, Twitter has seen some great moments and we were happy to change the conversation. Occupy Wall Street, The Arab Spring, The Me Too movement, none of these could’ve picked up the steam they did without us. But now some motherfucker is gonna use our platform to post a picture of himself dipping sushi in apple sauce??? Fuck outta here with that! We’re done.”

 

“Twitter has been a part of some great moments and we were happy to change the conversation…but now some motherfucker is gonna use our platform to post a picture of himself dipping sushi in apple sauce??? Fuck outta here with that! We’re done,” said one executive

 

The Tweet, originally from a user known by the handle @NintendoDick, claims that ordering sushi, then dipping it into applesauce rather than soy sauce, is an Oregon thing. We privately messaged @NintentoDick for comment, but were met with a series of emojis including the middle finger, the knife, the crying laughing, and the veggie burger.

The picture immediately went viral, causing a frenzy in offices and message boards all over the world. While seemingly a mundane observation in the grand scheme of things, it has no doubt caused pause amongst Internet users to really think about whether or not this really makes a difference in anything. Sure it’s a satisfying distraction from paying bills and trudging away, but honestly, if someone wants to dip their sushi in apple sauce, soy sauce, gasoline, pus, or hippo urine, then that is their choice. Who cares?

Twitter, on the other hand, cares very deeply. There’s speculation that the company is shutting down to avoid future legislation that would affect profits, and yet, there is also the theory that they do very little to contribute to the greater good, hence the shutdown. In any case, a picture of sushi being dipped in applesauce appears to be the straw that broke the camel’s back.

 

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About NOSHKONG

A food blog. Kinda.

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