“Who’s a good boy??? Yesh–you are! Yesh you are a good boy! YOU ARE GOOD FUCKIN’ DOG!”
These are the words of Minnie Screwtits, the owner of a golden retriever named Taterz, but who might as well be named Picasso. See, Taterz has a bit of an artistic side that has caught the attention of the art world, and in a way we haven’t seen since the last time we gave a shit about what the art world likes.
Currently, art dealers from around the world are clamoring for an opportunity to represent Taterz and his masterpieces, some of which are “fetching” up to 25 million dollars.
Ms. Screwtits and Taterz are like any dog and owner. They are best friends in that creepy way where a human blindly values the welfare of a simple animal over other humans. However, what separates Ms. Screwtits and Taterz from other dogs and owners is that they enjoy painting together, and what separates them from other artists, is that their work is done entirely with condiments. Taterz, in particular, has a knack for salsa.
“One day I crammed a paintbrush in his mouth because I lost his favorite toy, and he trotted over to an open jar of salsa, then painted on the floor something so masterful that I had to Instagram it to my 47 followers right away,” says Minnie. “After that, it all started happening so fast.”
Currently, art dealers from around the world are clamoring for an opportunity to represent Taterz and his masterpieces, some of which are “fetching” up to 25 million dollars. The list of those who have already purchased an authentic Taterz include a Japanese billionaire, the king of Norway, and some guy who thought it was a Banksy.
The works have been described as “transcendent”, “exemplary”, and “fucked up that a dog owner is making her dog do this” according to various publications that cover art. An exhibit is not quite in the works yet, however, Taterz’ works will be a part of Art Basel in Miami next December, where the public will have a chance to view the work and say “I can really feel the pain in this dog’s heart coming through in the chunks of onions.”
Have you seen one of Taterz’ masterpieces? Contact us!