The animal kingdom is never lacking in providing moments of magic. At the Chhatbir Zoo in Zirakpur, India, especially, there is an elephant that goes by the name of Mal-Mal, who provides a miracle of his own almost every other hour. Mal-Mal is an African bush elephant that was saved from poachers, but the main attraction? He shits birthday cakes.
On some days, Mal-Mal will defecate up to seven birthday cakes, and no, these are not feces in the shape of birthday cakes–they are layered angel food cakes, with chocolate frosting, candles, and a message in cursive that says “Happy Birthday!”. The number of candles varies from poop to poop, but it’s an irrelevant detail considering an elephant is shitting birthday cakes out of its ass.
These are not feces in the shape of birthday cakes–they are layered angel food cakes, with chocolate frosting, candles, and a message in cursive that says “Happy Birthday!”
The phenomenon was first noticed by zookeeper Julian Queef, who took a job at the Chhatbir Zoo after moving from his homeland of Australia. Queef has obviously never seen something like this before, but insists that Mal-Mal’s diet is nothing unusual.
“Yep, we feed the big fuckah all sortsa bairries and veggies and whatnot from brekkie all the way to sandown. Caulies and greens and mushies–the usual elephant grub, yeah,” said Queef with the help of an interpreter. “No idea why the big ol’ trunk fuckah been dumpin’ sweets out, yeah.”
Lines to see Mal-Mal have been growing and growing since word got out that an elephant is crapping birthday cakes. The Chhatbir Zoo has seen an increase in ticket sales by almost 600% and the demand to see the elephant in the act of pooping out a birthday cake is the main reason why.
Those lucky enough to witness the act in person have had videos on Twitter and Instagram shared at least thousands of times, while others have merely seen the birthday cakes scattered all throughout Mal-Mal’s pen. There’s no word on how the cakes taste since zookeepers are advising against eating them for now, but rest assured, the next time you blow out the candles on your birthday cake, there’s a good chance an elephant miles and miles away in India is shitting one out of its anus that is exactly the same.
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