You’re Never Going to Smash a Rice Krispie Treat Into Your Genitals Again After Reading This

smashing into genitals

The good news: you can still enjoy Rice Krispie treats, exactly as you have since the days of your childhood. The bad news? You may want to reconsider smashing them into your genitals.

A decades-long study has finally come to a conclusion regarding the effects of smashing Rice Krispie treats into your genitals. Participants of the study were put through dozens of tests and activities in order to examine what, if any, the effects of smashing a Rice Krispie treat into your genitals are. The results may shock you.

 

Doctors are strongly advising against the activity, especially those who believe they may somehow become pregnant with a Rice Krispie treat instead of a human fetus.

 

According to the study, male participants who smashed a Rice Krispie treat into their genitals experienced pain in the groin area, along with cracked testes, nausea, and pubes sticking together. Female participants who smashed a Rice Krispie treat into their genitals experiences pelvic pain, in addition to stickiness in the groin area and, in what is possibly the biggest revelation of the study, that smashing a Rice Krispie treat into your genitals will NOT cause pregnancy. Additional findings suggested that had female participants been impregnated by smashing a Rice Krispie into their genitals, the fetus would not be a Rice Krispie treat.

This news may come as a disappointment to the colossal amount of those who enjoy smashing Rice Krispie treats into their genitals. Doctors are strongly advising against the activity, especially those who believe they may somehow become pregnant with a Rice Krispie treat instead of a human fetus.

“Get out of my office!” said Dr. Cinnamon when asked to comment on this story for this publication.

This publication does not condone the act of smashing a Rice Krispie treat into your genitals. However, if you choose to smash a Rice Krispie treat into your genitals, we ask that you understand all the risks involved and take the necessary precautions. Your genitals may be at risk.

 

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About NOSHKONG

A food blog. Kinda.

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