The Obese Community is Campaigning to Remove Gluttony from the Seven Deadly Sins

NO!

The organization known as Obese Americans for Freedom (OAF) is generating buzz for a recent online campaign to remove gluttony from the 7 deadly sins. The campaign began in March 2017 and has steamrolled its way into the national conversation.

The chairman of OAF, a man simply known as Arnold, spearheaded the campaign that refuses to acknowledge gluttony as a sin. He has also stated that the medieval laws of religion don’t apply to modern times because if they did we’d still be getting married at 14 years old and taking shits in rivers.

 

The campaign chairman stated that the medieval laws of religion don’t apply to modern times because if they did we’d still be getting married at 14 years old and taking shits in rivers.

 

A number of brands have made significant contributions to the campaign in order to raise awareness. To note: Snickers, Anheuser-Busch, Frito-Lay, Hostess, whoever is responsible for Steak-Umms, the guy in charge of Chick-fil-A, and a shady group of individuals who won’t admit they are the board of directors at PepsiCo have all pitched in donations totaling near 600 million dollars. They all claim this has nothing to do with sales and everything to do with freedom and democracy.

Joey Chestnutt, that maniac who keeps breaking the record for eating hot dogs, has already been confirmed to appear in a national ad for OAF’s campaign. When contacted for comment, a representative for Chestnutt replied, “Joey is firmly on board with removing Gluttony from the 7 Deadly Sins. Look at Joey and what he does. Is what he does a sin? No. Is he dead? Um, duh, no he is not.” No word on whether or not Joey Chestnutt is dead, but he still holds the record for most hot dogs eaten outside on a 95-degree day for no reason.

DO you consider gluttony a sin? Contact us and let us know!

 

About NOSHKONG

A food blog. Kinda.

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