Domino’s Pizza Announces 2020 Presidential Run

domino's pizza logo

Hot on the heels of their campaign to fix potholes, Domino’s Pizza announced their intentions to do even more for Americans. That is, to govern and improve their way of life! Domino’s Pizza will officially join the fray in 2020 and run for president. They will run on the ticket of the Totally Rad Party–a 3rd party funded by Bain Capital, who currently owns the Domino’s franchise.

“We feel that if a large corporation funded by a private investment firm is going to be president, then why not one that serves delicious, hot pizza?”

The issues at the forefront of the Domino’s campaign are similar to other candidates: boosting jobs and the economy, protecting the environment, and lowering taxes for working-class families. How Domino’s attempts to address these issues was made clear in a press release:

“Our number 1 priority in launching this campaign is to not just show that a corporation can run this country, but run it efficiently. We feel that if a large corporation funded by a private investment firm is going to be president, then why not one that serves delicious, hot pizza? Catch our drift???

Anyway, if you elect Domino’s president in 2020, we promise to hire as many drivers and line cooks to boost jobs and the economy. We promise not to use coal or fossil fuels when making our pizzas. And we promise to lower taxes for American families because we have to say that.”

The unprecedented move for a fast food chain to run for president is sure to turn heads. Are Americans ready for a fast food chain to lead the world’s most powerful nation? It’s too soon to tell, but one thing Domino’s is counting on: Their Election Tracker, where supporters of Domino’s’ will be able to log-in to an account and track the progress of the campaign until it arrives at the White House.

 

Would you vote for Domino’s for President? Share your feelings with us!

 

About NOSHKONG

A food blog. Kinda.

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