There’s Something About Freshly Grating Parmesan Cheese That Makes You Feel Important

parmesan cheese

Parmesan cheese is important. When it’s presented during meal times, it means business. And sure, there’s always an option to sprinkle those commercially produced parm puffs from a green can over your food, BUT–freshly grated parmesan cheese? Now that’s making a statement.

The scraping of a hard block of pungent cheese across small blades inspires productivity and, even more importantly, class. That’s right, baby, C-L-A-S-S. Impress your dates or your significant others by simply brandishing a block of feet-smelling parmesan cheese along with a handheld grater. You will project an air of “Yes, I grate my own parmesan cheese, Bub, and you know what? It’s magnificent.” Because you are magnificent. Gracefully stroking your hand back and forth, as flakes of parmesan blizzard across such high-end delicacies as chicken or spaghetti? Now that’s the mark of an important person.

Project an air of “Yes, I grate my own parmesan cheese, Bub, and you know what?

It’s magnificent.”

Some of the most important people in history have partaken in the act of freshly grated parmesan cheese on their food. In fact, as legend has it, Marie Antoinette would often tote around her own engraved grater for jaunts around Europe with her royal pals. Upon sitting for meals she would giggle into her hand and summon her servant, who would present Antoinette with a gold plated cheese grater engraved with the phrase “Va te faire foutre”, which loosely translates to “Go fuck yourself”. Now that’s important!

You’re never a loser as long you freshly grate parmesan cheese. Remember that at your next board meeting, poker game, or nervous breakdown.


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Published by NOSHKONG

A food blog. Kinda.

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