If there’s anything we can all agree on, it’s that standing barefoot on a pile of jalapeños is something to do. It doesn’t matter if it is Wednesday or if it is Saturday, you, too, can stand barefoot on a pile of jalapeños and it doesn’t require much. All you need is feet and jalapeños.
We recently stood barefoot on a pile of jalapeños and we managed to gain some knowledge. A rare thing these days–learning–but here are six takeaways:
1. We stood barefoot on a pile of jalapeños
No denying that’s what was going on here. We spilled jalapeños on the floor into a pile. Then, we removed our sneakers, our socks, and we stood on them. Some time had passed before we stopped standing on them.
2. There was a pile of jalapeños that we stood on, barefoot
A similar conclusion to the first. In this case, though, the jalapeños were being stood on with bare feet, as opposed to we standing barefoot on them. A slight distinction, but a distinction nonetheless.
You can argue that barefoot jalapeños can stand, but you would be wrong. Jalapeños do not have feet. Case closed.
3. Barefoot jalapeños can’t stand in a pile
The very premise of this is idiotic and we are stupid for even mentioning it. However, there is truth to it. You cannot deny facts, especially when they are as clear cut as this. You can argue that barefoot jalapeños can stand, but you would be wrong. Jalapeños do not have feet. Case closed.
4. Perhaps it was a pile of jalapeños that had been simply resting beneath our bare feet
A different perspective on the original theory. Who plays the part of catalyst, and who is merely complementing the activity? These are unanswered questions. Are we standing? Are they resting? The complexities of the problem lie in the complexities of what is true about a pile of jalapeños, and what is false about us standing barefoot, and vice versa.
5. Piles of bare feet and jalapeños standing
Suppose the roles were not only reversed, but their motivations were, as well. A jalapeño must crave a desire to stand the same way a barefoot must crave the desire of being a pile. Otherwise, everything is for nothing and there is no mind for consequence or search for usefulness.
6. The truth
Always open to interpretation. However, whether you are a foot or a jalapeño, you are always at the mercy of something larger than you and that you cannot control. Do with this information what you will.
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