2018 Year in Review
A good ol’ fashioned food recall is about as American as summer blockbusters and nervous breakdowns. This year, we basked in the glory of a full spectrum of food recalls. Read on as we rank our faves!
7. Ground Beef (May) – A little more than 35, 000 pounds of pure patriotism were recalled just in time for Memorial Day weekend. Cue the Star-Spangled Banner as little bits of plastic and foreign matter were discovered in packages of squishy, squashy cow flesh, putting a small damper on American war death.
6. Wishbone Italian Salad Dressing (June) – This recall was initiated after a consumer noticed that milk and eggs were left off as allergens on the label. This might not be a big deal to you, but if you were milk or eggs, you’d want to be included, too. Seemed unfair to leave them out.
5. Dog food (December) – We believe in animal rights at NOSHKONG and we believe dogs should be able to Google their symptoms of stomach illness, too, upon hearing news of a recall from food they just ate that morning. Y’know, like humans do.
4. Duncan Hines Cake Mixes (November) – How ‘bout a nice slice of warm, fluffy salmonella for your special occasion? Duncan Hines recalled their Classic White, Classic Butter Golden, Signature Confetti, and Classic Yellow cake mixes for traces of salmonella. How are we supposed to function as a society without our Signature Confetti cake? We are not animals!! We demand safe confetti cake!!!
3. Romaine lettuce (November) – The granddaddy of this year’s food recalls. We were simply told “Throw away all your Romaine lettuce IMMEDIATELY” and we followed suit. We wrote love letters to Romaine lettuce, organized support meetings, and held a music festival in its honor, but alas, we were dealt a blow to our Romaine hearts.
2. Honey Smacks (June)
Depending on who you ask, there were two 2018’s. There was pre-Honey Smacks recall, and post-Honey Smacks recall. We’re still picking up the pieces of our hearts from the devastation left behind of the Honey Smacks recall. How are we to trust the Dig ‘Em Frog? We believed in him. We believed in Honey Smacks. Mid-morning sugar crashes haven’t been the same.
1. SPAM, Muscle Milk, other stuff (May)
Our #1 food recall of 2018 is courtesy of Hormel Foods, makers of such fine products as SPAM, Muscle Milk, Wholly Guacamole and a bevy of other fine canned pork and chicken products. The reason? Consumers found “foreign matter” in a number of products. What constitutes “foreign matter”? We don’t know. We’ve been under the impression these products only contained foreign matter, that is, ingredients so mysterious in nature, that we trusted Hormel with our guts and bellies. It was a sad summer without our Muscle Milk SPAM guacamole dip…
Tell us your favorite food recall! Contact us!