It’s rare that I take a second to stop gorging on empanadas and mint chip ice cream to break the 4th wall and address you gorgeous humans, but…here we are.
Of all the glories of the glorious glorification of food, Thanksgiving is right at the top of the list. It combines the unnecessarily vicious wolfing of starch and bird, while at a table with the people responsible for your anxiety and self-esteem issues. (In a way, just like the Pilgrims and the Native Americans.) Replacing emotions with food is sooooo 21st Century and Thanksgiving is the perfect bed to neatly tuck that into.
NOSHKONG is about food. I love food. I love to eat as much as I love to procrastinate confronting my true self. Why peel away these feelings of inadequacy and not fitting in when there is pizza? Pizza! In 2018, I see more food fans, food writers, food pics, food monstrosities, food celebrations, and food news than I ever knew was possible. Food is life as much as it is a shield. It’s a vice that we can learn to forgive ourselves for, especially when folks like Action Bronson and Alex Guarnaschelli are out there making it feel OK.
So here’s what you can do with your Thanksgiving leftovers, pal:
You can dig into them at 3 in the morning when the rest of the world is having trouble falling back asleep (because they’re reflecting too hard on life’s decisions, just like you) and ask yourself, “What the fuck is this all about?” And then, define what “this” is because only you know. Sorry for getting too deep. If it makes you feel better, I’m writing this while taking a dump in an IHOP.
Anyway, NOSHKONG is my contribution to a world that seems like it’s gone haywire, but only when you log on and read the Internet (ironically, what you’ve done here). I figure, hey, since we’re all drowning ourselves in processed cheese and fast food as a defense mechanism, why not have a little fun, right? Have some fun on Thanksgiving. Have some fun in life. Drop your guard, laugh a little more, steal your parents alcohol, burp during a movie, hold up the line at Chipotle, call your old high school and tell them you snorted Special K in homeroom once, and no matter what, never forget 2 things in life: One, fear ain’t shit, and two, 9/11. Never forget either of those.
Now enjoy your holiday. Before you know it, it’ll be December, a month-long tidal wave of bad music, shitty snacks, and self hatred, but like, the good kind.
Let me hear from you! Contact Editor@NOSHKONG.com