Every Yankee Fan at Tonight’s Game Will Leave with a Free 6-Foot Hero If the Home Team Hits a HR

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It’s a promotion for the ages and it’s all thanks to a local Bronx deli that’s been serving up sandwiches since 1947. Vincenzi Meat & Cheese, a neighborhood staple for decades, is offering every fan who attends Game 4 of the ALDS a free 6-foot hero if any Yankee hits a home run during the game.

“Ay, it’s the least we could do!” bellowed co-owner Tommy Vincenzi in an almost cartoonish accent. “We been servin’ up the Bronx for years, so if the Yanks serve it up tonight, we’re givin’ something back! Fuhgettaboutit!!!”

Tommy and Jimmy, sons of the original owner Angelo Vincenzi, are more than ready to cater to the large crowd in case a home run is hit. The sandwiches will measure 6-foot in length and contain roasted red peppers, fresh mozzarella, a variety of salamis and meats, and oil & vinegar.

“My brother actually said ‘fuhgettaboutit’?” commented Jimmy. “Um, we don’t really talk like that. In fact, we both went to Wharton for business school. He originally wanted to be an actor so maybe he’s fulfilling some sort of odd fantasy? I don’t know. As you can hear, we don’t have those accents. Last week, he and I had a very profound discussion about the ethics of the Large Hadron Collider.”

“Fuck outta here! My brother said that? Tommy Vincenzi is true blue New Yawkah! Ay yo!” yelled Tommy before continuing, “Look, off the record, we don’t really talk like this, but it’s good for business, understand? How can we operate an Italian deli if we don’t pander to the stereotypes put forth by Hollywood and archaic cultural standards?”

As for the promotion, Jimmy continues:

“It’s just a tax write-off. Also, we have a shit-load of inventory we need to move. I mean, Jesus Christ, we have enough meat and cheese to fill a circus tent in Jersey. We know it’ll be inconvenient to hand off a 6-foot hero to every Yankee fan at the stadium, not to mention get it home, but that’s not our problem.”

Will the Yankees hit a home run? Tune in to find out! And if you happen to be at Yankee Stadium, enjoy your complimentary 6-foot hero on the way home, courtesy of Vincenzi Meat & Cheese!

 

Contact us: editor@NOSHKONG.com

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