Prozafé: Wake Up & Smell the Happiness


Sometimes the hardest part of waking up…is waking up. Another day of going through the motions: alarm clock, commute, work, commute, dinner in front of the TV, fall asleep to a rerun of Seinfeld. Repeat.

Luckily, there’s coffee. There’s always coffee.

Suppose your morning cup was more than just a quick pick-me-up. Suppose there was a way to get the juices flowing, while chasing away the imminent doom of acknowledging the human conscience. Suppose there was a coffee that was brewed with just a tinge of sunshine to chase the rain clouds away.

Prozafé, the first FDA approved coffee blended with a delicious dose of what you need to get through your existence, is now available in 3 ready to brew varieties: Epiphany (House Blend), The Only Thing Dark is This Roast, and Oui Oui! (French Roast). No matter what your affliction may be, or how heavy the weight of the world is, or how poorly your divorce/parenting/career/trial for accidental manslaughter is going, Prozafé is there to provide a silver lining.

Prozafé is more than just a cup of coffee dosed with antidepressants, though. It’s bold and rich flavors are thanks to beans harvested in a wartorn Central American location by farmers who ensure only the highest quality, and with minimal bloodshed. The finished product is an aromatic brew with exotic and complex notes to help you start your day, combined with sweet, sweet antidepressants to help you forget about the horrors of being nothing more than a pawn in the game of globalism. Pfft, who needs that?

Prozafé: Wake up & smell the happiness.

Find Prozafé at your local supermarket or wherever coffee is sold at a high markup to affluent white people.

Published by NOSHKONG

A food blog. Kinda.

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