What to Watch this Fall: A Guide to Food TV Premieres   

It’s the time of year where networks and streaming services begin to flood the airwaves with new programming. Its been estimated that among that programming, there will be another 28,000 new shows about food that we wonder if we really need. We’ve rounded up the shows you absolutely cannot miss!

CHEFS YELLING!!! (Fox)

Your favorite (and not so favorite) chefs are in the kitchen and they are YELLING!!! Kick back and enjoy all the hijinks of chefs unable to tame their misplaced anger as they take it out on their staff. They’ll berate their own food, curse out their assistants, and boy oh boy do they have a few words for the restaurateur who’s trying to fuck with their culinary vision.

 

Kid Butcher Championships (Food Network)

Grown-ups seem to have all the fun with cleavers and knives and animal carcasses. Well this time, it’s the kids’ turn! The Kid Butcher Championships is a season-long battle to see which kids have what it takes to filet a calf for veal, or completely debone a wild turkey for Thanksgiving. The action is intense and the cutlery is really, really sharp. Like, maybe too sharp for a 9-year old to use y’know?

 

Ladies be Meatloafin’ (Lifetime)

A roundtable of a different sort. Today’s leading ladies in politics, sports, entertainment, and shameless reality shows will come together to shove meatloaf in their faces while discussing today’s pressing issues. Feminism, equality, progress, and oh yeah, meat-frikkin-loaf! It’s a combination of The View and meatloaf: it’s “Ladies be Meatloafin’” and it debuts this fall.

 

Jason Segel Eats Things in Other Countries (NetFlix)

Tag along with comedy star Jason Segel as he visits other countries and eats things with people who live there. He’ll make wisecracks, he’ll be taller than everyone else, and for God’s sake he will eat things in other countries. Season 1 includes trips to Sri Lanka, Japan, Thailand, Vietnam, India, and a bunch of other countries you’ve seen on every other food travel show, EXCEPT, this one has a different white guy and it’s Jason Segel.

 

We Blow Up Fruit in Slow Motion (FX)

FX will throw their hat into the food TV ring with this offering of, quite literally, fruit being blown up. No host, no segments, no real reason you can’t watch this on the Internet, but there will be fruit getting blown up and it will be cathartic. Peels and seeds and flesh will dance in the air as a high volume of explosives show fruit who’s boss, and you will watch. You will watch fruit being blown up. There isn’t much else on, anyway.

 

Fish ‘n Chips ‘n Dad (BBC America)

A reality show set in a chippy in Manchester. It features lovable blokes Tynan and Pentworth as they work to keep their fish n’ chip shack open while juggling their issues with their father. Enjoy British people pronouncing food and being quirky as they also desperately crave the validation of their drunk and sexist dad. This fall on BBC America!

 

Nude Chili Cookoff (CMT)

Welcome to the South ya hipster softie crybabies! Each year the Nude Chili Cookoff brings together the nation’s best chili cooks and convinces them to drop their pants and pick up a wooden spoon. The competition is fierce and the backs are hairy, but hey, things in the South are a little different you whiny Yankee Bon Iver fan. Tune in to see who takes home the grand prize and who accidentally burns their genitals after chopping jalapeños.

 

People Trying Grilled Octopus for the First Time (Travel Channel)

Join host Wayne Coyne, lead singer of the Flaming Lips, as he gets up close and personal with people who agreed to try grilled octopus for the first time–on camera! It’s a real WTF kinda show where no one’s entirely certain what the value of this programming is, but hey, it’s on The Travel Channel, so like, there’s gotta be some sort of enlightening revelation about taking a risk-free adventure, right?

 

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