Alicia Krupa’s 2nd annual Summer potluck was Saturday, and things became a little tense when Aaron Lyles, 35, made several passive aggressive comments to the guests about their cooking. “He brought La Croix to a potluck,” said Stephanie Bard about Aaron’s general demeanor, ”You do the math.”
Upon arriving to the party, Aaron sampled a deviled egg, then remarked, “Interesting.” The deviled eggs belonged to Alex Schumaker, 32. Schumaker commented, “He said it like there’s only one way to make deviled eggs. Like he’s some kind of food purist. I make them with Greek yogurt because it’s healthy, OK???”
According to one witness, upon tasting Amy’s pasta salad, Aaron loudly said, “I like that it’s rustic.” It was at this point it became clear that Aaron had an agenda. “Rustic is what you say when you see terrible knife skills,” said Amy’s boyfriend Jerimiah, “He knew exactly what he was doing.” Amy refused to offer a comment.
At around 7:30 p.m., Aaron was in a conversation with Greg Hernandez, who recently lost 50 pounds. Aaron claims to not have noticed that Greg looked different. Multiple guests have now confirmed that Aaron remarked, “Really? 50 pounds. Hm.” This was when everyone at Alicia’s 2nd annual Summer potluck became uncomfortable, however, the carnage didn’t stop there. Aaron later waved off an offering of Alicia’s homemade tiramisu. According to eyewitnesses, the following exchange took place:
Aaron: “I’m saving room for dessert”
Alicia: “But this is dessert.”
Aaron: “Oh, I mean, ugh, I really wanted to try Steph’s tres leches cake.”
(Author’s note: Steph later wrote us to verify that Aaron only ate one bite of her tres leches cake.)
Aaron’s whereabouts are not even remotely in question. He’s gleefully going on with his life, hiding in plain sight. However, it appears to be up in the air whether or not he’ll be invited back next year.
“I’m not sure right now,” remarked Alicia, “He took his La Croix’s home with him when he left. What kind of psycho does that?”