On most days, it gets ugly both on and offline. The wedge that has been driven between Americans is pulling them apart further and further every day. Some believe that In ‘N Out is the superior burger chain, while others lay claim to Shake Shack. And now–blood is being shed, lives are being lost, and no one knows what may happen next.
“I think it’s ridiculous that I can’t enjoy In ‘N Out burgers and post on Twitter how great they are without some Shacker jumping down my throat, pointing out how Shake Shack uses better ingredients, and provides a more sound environment for dining. It’s elitism, plain and simple,” says Tomathan Willbit, an In ‘N Out devotee.
“It’s hate from the other side,” states Ellise Hella, “I love Shake Shack. They’re willing to try new things and bring new ideas to customers in the interest of progress, plus their history of goodwill is something we should all be getting behind. I don’t like the I.N.O and what they do. Last week I saw a group of them slap a man walking out of Shake Shack with his girlfriend. There’s no need for violence, but that just goes to show you what we’re dealing with from the other side.”
And there is plenty of violence. More and more on the news we are seeing incidents of the I.N.O. (short for In ‘N Out and a reference to their supporters) attacking Shackers (a reference to Shake Shack supporters) and vice versa. In March, a dispute at a party ended in gunshots. The next month, at a wedding catered by In ‘N Out, a group of attendees who identified as Shackers peed all over the food, which lead to fights and a stabbing. And then in July, a full scale riot broke out when the I.N.O. protested in front of a Shake Shack in Austin about the fries being frozen (In ‘N Out is known for using fresh fries).
Many are embroiled in this ongoing battle, while others prefer to stay out of it.
“I think there’s reasons to like both to be perfectly honest,” said Herbert Flannel-Beard. “Personally, I like Five Guys. Or even Smashburger. There’s some revolutionary shit going on with those that I think is really the future of this country, but we’re so locked into only 2 options that we neglect to see any others. It’s shameful, actually.”
Neither chain responded for comment to this story, but it should be noted the CEO of In ‘N Out recently Tweeted:
“Shackers continue to cause violence and stir up nonsense. No control. Price gauging is no way to sell a burger and fries are FROZEN. Impossible to work with and TERRIBLE food. Bad!”
(Author’s note: NOSHKONG mourns for those we continue to lose in this hideous outrage over a quality burger made in a sufficient amount of time.)