Bigoted Fast Food CEO Just Kinda Rolls With It

The CEO of the popular fast food chain GreaseBelly Jim’s has been revealed to have made remarks construed as racist and inappropriate. Employees of the restaurant, known for their signature dish, The Belly Flop, have gone on record to say that Greg Platter repeatedly made disparaging remarks towards employees of Hawaiian descent.

Through a GreaseBelly Jim’s spokesperson, Platter has denied the accusations, citing that his remarks were an attempt to get to know his employees, pal around with them, and appreciate the hard work they do at a wage equivalent to a service dog at a pre-school.

“He thought he was being friendly with his employees,” the statement says. “Greg Platter is a hardworking man who couldn’t possibly think referring to his employees as ‘a bunch of good ol’ fashioned, sweaty grease-bellies from Hoo-wah-ee’ while slapping them on the back would be construed as derogatory.”

Employees have also commented that Platter would routinely hula dance when entering the kitchen area of restaurants, often while removing his shirt and shouting “YOLOHA!”

Said one anonymous employee, “He used to come in here, singing and dancing, and saying things like, Let’s eat some cheese and have some fun and kick the boys. I don’t know what that means, but it’s fucked up.”

Lea, another employee and mother of 2 commented, “Greg’s crazy. He tries to be nice. One time he said he’d help me out and pick up my kids and he said, Lemme go get those little fruit punch squirts from school and feed them french fries and peppers and poop! I don’t know what that means, but it’s fucked up.”

A long list of corporate sponsorships have officially ended due to this recent scandal. Among them are the following athletic associations:


NCAA football

In addition to these TV shows:


“American Pickers”

“The Gun Show starring Christian O’Bullet Policeman”

“Swap Meet Blind Date”

“Is This My Automatic Rifle?”

“Let’s Prank Some Jews”

Platter could not be reached for comment. It is believed he is in rehab on some tropical island he bought with his Christmas bonus last year.

Published by NOSHKONG

A food blog. Kinda.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: