Recipe of the Month: Candied Sausage Yam Puffs

This month’s recipe comes to us from Brontosaurus Greenberg, a reader in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. She writes:

“The pursuit of something greater than ourselves is often what leads to a lack of establishing emotional boundaries that guide us to make sound decisions. The acceptance and appreciation of the ordinary yields greater rewards, more focus, and a better understanding of our mortality. Here’s a recipe for something that passes time, but in no way provides universal healing. That is up to the individual.”

LOL! If you say so, Brontosaurus! Enjoy her recipe for Candied Sausage Yam Puffs, bound to be a hit at your next backyard BBQ!

Ingredients:

  • A handful of sugar
  • Water
  • A package of sausage
  • Yams
  • Packaged croissants

Directions:

  1. First things first, take a look at yourself in the mirror and ask, “Am I the kind of person that would give my friends and family something called Candied Sausage Yam Puffs?” If you answered yes, then terrific. It means you’re aware that love is only valid when the people in your life are willing to support whatever monstrous ideas you may come up with.
  2. Next, cut up that sausage while singing your favorite Metallica song. It’s the only way to cut up sausage. They teach that in culinary school.
  3. Add the sausage to a pan with the water and sugar and turn the heat on. Then, I guess wait for something to happen. Something’s bound to happen, right? Maybe stir that shit around a little bit?
  4. Once you get bored with that, cut up some yams and don’t you dare refer to them as sweet potatoes, or else the police will come and detain you for no reason.
  5. Throw the yams in the pan with that God awful sausage thing you just did. When it all begins to look like a kindergarten art project, remove the pan from the heat.
  6. Spoon that bullshit into a croissant and cut them up into bite-sized pieces. Or, if you’re truly a sadistic piece of shit, serve the whole croissant and watch your friends and family put on airs to satisfy your needy ass.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s