Sriracha To Sell Edible Panties

Sriracha, the wildly popular hot sauce that spawned a line of merchandise, is ready to “squirt” into your bedroom LOL. Along with t-shirts, hats, and other items found in discount bins at Wal-Marts, Sriracha will now be selling edible panties flavored with the spicy condiment.

Beginning this Fall, shelves in adult stores will be stocked with Sriracha brand “Hot Pants”. The packages will contain three pairs of edible panties to be worn during intimacy, or whenever you feel like keeping hot sauce close to your genitals. The panties are unisex and will range in sizes from extra small to extra large.

We asked a group of Sriracha fans for their thoughts:

“Sriracha-flavored edible panties? Sure, why not? And while they’re at it, how ‘bout a condom made of sandpaper. Jesus Christ…” – Eileen, cashier, age 53

“I think it’s a great idea! Me and my husband have been looking for new ways to SPICE up our life in the bedroom! (laughs) You can use that if you want. I’ve always been called the funny one in my family.” – Tracy, bakery manager, age 37

“Well, uhh–is it gonna burn my crotch? Because if it is, I really don’t need another way to experience that.” – Ginger, student, age 20

“Do you have permission to be here? This is a breakroom for employees only.” Dennis, security guard, age 41

“Look, I’m happy you finally found what you love to do in journalism, but…I think we should see other people.” – Grace, ex-girlfriend, age 33

No telling how sales will be, but Sriracha, with its cult-like following, is sure to get people talking about their latest product. Sriracha’s edible panties will retail for $17.99 and will be available in stores and online.  


Published by NOSHKONG

A food blog. Kinda.

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