What do you do when you’re a cafe owner fending off pedestrians looking to use your restroom, but without making a purchase? You eliminate restrooms!
In Madison, Wisconsin, Stan Nyungles owns Jonesin’ for Joe, a cafe that serves some of the best coffee, breakfast, beers and brats among other items. However, Nyungles began to notice a few extra bodies in his shop that weren’t there to dine from his menu.
“I don’t know what happened. One year, I’m serving a manageable amount of customers and the next, I got a line out the door, except–”
Except they weren’t there to eat. They were there to poop.
“Unbelievable. It’s a combination of things. The fact that there are no public restrooms for miles, people constantly need to go, and the food truck up the road that serves bran shakes and fiber patties. I think they’re called Intestinal Fortitude. Nice guys, but their truck means no restroom, which means their customers come in here.
To solve this issue Nyungles used a little creativity.
“Look, real estate is at a premium. We need all the space we can get, so, I got rid of my restrooms. After that, I allowed my customers to poop in their pants. Not only did this free up the lines, but now we welcome those who want to stop in after a trip from Intestinal Fortitude. It’s the Wisconsin way, to welcome people. I think this takes care of our problems.”
“It’s kinda weird at first, but then you realize everyone is pooping their pants so it’s no big deal,” said one customer who declined to give her name.
“We come in at least twice a week. The food is great, Stan is great, and we can poop our pants in here,” said Stephanie Ribbit, who is a regular customer with her boyfriend.
Of course, Jonesin’ for Joe does have its opposition.
“Is that even legal? Or sanitary? It just sounds like a bad idea,” said Jamal Hardyhar, who also admitted to pooping his pants in the past at the cafe, but now sticks to establishments with restrooms.
“The health department is completely against this,” Stan says, “But you can’t make progress and implement change without a little turbulence. What’s that saying, You can’t make an omelet without pooping a few pants.”