TV Review: Anthony Bourdain Eats His Own Dick

Known for his no-holds-barred, take-no-prisoners, why-is-this-man-doing-this, you-don’t-have-to-prove-anything-to-us approach to culinary exploration, it was only a matter of time before celebrity chef and guy in black jeans Anthony Bourdain attempted to outdo himself.

On Thursday night, Bourdain tackled his most questionable epicurean challenge yet: eating his own genitals. In a special titled “Anthony Bourdain Eats His Own Dick”, Bourdain, stoic and stone-faced, leads his television viewing audience into a complicated trek of madness and darkness, like that Apocalypse Now movie that Bourdain always references for some reason on a show about food.

It would be a full 35 minutes into the special before we see Bourdain chow down. In that time we are treated to his love of the Ramones, the consistent reinforcement that he used to do drugs, and a small interview with a guy he once worked with that had sex in a dumpster. We are also treated to panoramic shots of the ocean with Bourdain narrating that he is Anthony Bourdain and he appreciates food.

And then it was showtime.

Joined by his good buddies, a group of assorted French people and an Asian dude, Bourdain sat at a table with ornate silverware and a white tablecloth, despite making it clear he is Anthony Bourdain and this is cramping his style. He is served his penis, stewed with tomatoes, red wine, and a blend of spices that were picked up at a garage sale beforehand.

Over the years we’ve come to enjoy Bourdain’s bravado and willingness to try anything. He believes food is the catalyst to bring people together, and as such, we can learn a lot on a global scale simply by sharing a meal with the same people who want to kill in the name of religion.  In this special, we see Bourdain truly embracing the spirit of food and wearing black jeans as he gorges on his dick. It is celebratory, but also, like, why dude?

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